I am turning 26 on Thursday and I am just SO excited. I used to not like birthdays. Not because I was getting older like most people dread. I used to dread them because my expectations for them were always so high (internally) and then I just felt let down when they weren’t met and gosh it just got to be ridiculous. I would get myself worked up and put unrealistic expectations on my friends and family. So I just didn’t want my birthday to come at all. If it didn’t come I wouldn’t be let down. It’s embarrassing to admit but it’s true. And writing it out sounds so petty and lame but I am human and those qualities definitely apply to me too.
But you know what I have figured out? I didn’t want big parties or awesome gifts– I just wanted to feel loved. And I am not saying my friends and family didn’t love me because they definitely did. I just wasn’t seeing the ways they were loving me. I wasn’t looking.
Ever since I met Aaron in 2010 I started to realize the unhealthy fear I had with birthdays and I decided to let the absurd expectations fall away and to be intentional about noticing how the people in my life were loving me. It was so freeing and I was finally able to appreciate those in my life and their love languages. After my tight grip on expectations loosened it was then that I was able to fully experience the love on my birthdays.
And that’s the best birthday gift I could ever want or ask for. (and maybe some Office humor!)
This year Aaron asked what I wanted and I told him I just want some real quality time with him. No phones, no TV, no distractions–just us. I am so excited for that and to spend so much time with my best friends this weekend.
But Aaron is up to something else this week. He is giving the balcony off our master bedroom a mini and quick makeover. Just in time for fall! I am so thankful and appreciate his hard work. He has absolutely no time to do this but he finds it somewhere and that is the way he loves me.
Sidenote: Our house in the 80’s was chopped up into a quadplex so half the balcony has remnants of tile while the other half has dusty old wood.
I am grateful beyond words for the people in my life. They will always be the best birthday gifts.
Cheers to year 26 with all of you!! Thank you for loving me so well.